Saturday, February 16, 2002

Can I just say how less internet and inbox exposure is healthy for you? The dark circles under my eyes have all but vanished and I feel that I have the ability to prioritize things. Imagine that!
Well, unfortunately - it cannot last. I am about to check my email from work - so dreading it. Having not checked this since Tuesday - there's bound to be a dozen or so assorted slips, miscommunications, crises, and post-mortems looming in my near future. I am sick for doing this - but here goes...

Friday, February 15, 2002

So - a few post-valentines-day, post-chineses New Years' resolutions came to me today as I attempted to jog over to my grandparents house (and only ended up limping the remaining 1.5 miles due to intense shinsplints) - that I probably should project manage my weight gain/loss program like I would at work. So, here's a one-pager for my potential successes or wins as they correspond with other holidays:
  • St. Patricks Day: Be Able to Jog a few blocks, not get shinsplints and not cry, curse or walk the length back to my apartment. Status: Yellow
  • Easter: Start tucking my shirt in and no longer sport the dowdy, untucked casual slob look at work. Status: Green (kinda)
  • Mother's Day: Possibly wear shorts (if I chose to wear shorts) Status: Red
  • Memorial Day: Look "Passable" in swim trunks (passable meaning - not amazing, not astounding, but not terrible either.) Status: RED!
  • Father's Day: Find myself swimming in a "33 waist. Status: Yellow
  • Fourth of July: Fill a T-Shirt, the good way. Status: Orange
  • Labor Day: Be able to jog 10 miles without shinsplints (like st patricks day).
  • Halloween: Fit into my Helmut Lang's and not look like a squeezed denim sausage. Status: Hopeless Red, possibly Purple.
  • Thanksgiving: Take some impossible sport that I couldn't even picture myself presently doing now: ie, Kickboxing. Status: Uhhh
  • Birthday (mine): Promote New 33 yr old Thin, Buff, Sexy JD. Ensure that my name and the words "svelt", "sinewy", or "toned" enter public domain at least at some point. Status: Wishing
  • Christmas: Feel Guilty for all the neurotic, narcissistic attention I've paid to my body conscious self. Throw out fitness magazines, protien supplements, and vow that I will forever devote myself in selfless pursuits. Status: Green
  • New Years: Screw it - Look really $#*%ing good in a swimsuit. Status: Ask me in December.

Thursday, February 14, 2002

Ok - a few days late, but here's my V-day post... the Top 50 (there's a list of about 200 or so) Worst Country Western Song Titles, courtesy of Lorah Edna:
. All I Want From You (Is Away)
Written by Bobby Harden (ASCAP)

2. All My Exes Live In Texas

3. All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down
Written by Gene Plott, Harold Powell & Roni Stoneman (BMI) (courtesy of

4. Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart? (courtesy of
Double Parked Heart by Jim Pollock (BMI) (Could this be the same song?)

5. Are You on the Top 40 of the Lord? (courtesy of Joel)

6. At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump (courtesy of
Apparently this is from a Weird Al Yankovic album, "One More Minute." But it
sounds like a country title, so I'll keep it!

7. Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears
(courtesy of Jim)

8. Bubba Shot The Jukebox

9. Bubba's Inconvenience Store
by Bett Butler (BMI)

10. Cow Cow Blues Written by Charles "Cow Cow" Davenport (ACAP),
and recorded by Bing Crosby, among others.
Not a country song at all, as it turns out, but I've left it on the list
because of the title's similarity to...

11. Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love)
This one's been performed by everyone from The Judds to Mel Torme, according
to ASCAP. Also not to be confused with...

12. Cow Cow Strut
by Barbara Chamberlin (SOCAN)

13. Did I Shave my Legs for This? by Deana Carter (courtesy of Scott)

14. Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You.
by Tanya Tucker (BMI)

15. Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load! (courtesy of

16. Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' on Yo-mind
by Loretta Lynn (BMI) (courtesy of Hamp)

17. Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When
I Ride (courtesy of Diane)

18. Don't Squeeze My Sharmon. (Yes, that IS the correct spelling)
Written by Carl Belew & Van Givens (BMI)

19. Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love)
Written by Pat Alger & Hal Ketchum (BMI)

20. Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)
Written by Paul Charles Craft

21. Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
Written by Rex Pearce (BMI) (courtesy of Rick)

22. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed.
Written by Richard Friedman (BMI)

23. Git Up Off'n the Floor Hannah (a Bitter New Year's Eve)
by Red Ingle and the Natural Seven, Written by Foster Carling & Joe
Washburne (ASCAP) (courtesy of "Narkspud")

24. Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart.
Written by Liz Anderson (BMI)

25. Hand me the Pool Cue and Call Yourself an Ambulance (courtesy of
Tom, who isn't sure it's a real song)

26. Her Only Bad Habit Is Me
Believe it or not, three songs with this title in the BMI database.

27. Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
by Travis Tritt - "It's All About to Change" (several folks submitted this

28. High Cost of Low Living
by John Steele & James Sloane (ASCAP)

29. Hold On To Your Men..Cause she's Single Again (courtesy of Susan)

30. How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me? (courtesy
of Dan)
How Can I Get Over You Till You Get Out from Under Him? (alternate title
courtesy of Mike)

31. How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
Written by Leonard Linnehan & Louis Philip Perry (ASCAP) (courtesy of
But there are a half-dozen songs with this title in the BMI database!

32. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've
Been A Liar All My Life?
According to Murphy, this song was written for the film Royal Wedding
starring Fred Astaire, and was a novelty dance number.

33. How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
by Mel Tillis (BMI)

34. How Did You Get so Ugly Overnight? (courtesy of Mark, who's not sure
it's a real song either)

35. I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me
2 songs with this title in the BMI database (courtesy of Rick)

36. I Can't Pass the Bar, and There's One on my Way Home (courtesy of

37. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life (courtesy of Charles)

38. I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes 'Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus
Sittin' on the Dashboard of my Car
a.k.a. "Plastic Jesus" by Ernie Marrs (courtesy of Bill)

39. I Don't Do Floors
by Don Cook & Charles Victor Rains (ASCAP)

40. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
by Thom Sharpe (courtesy of Gail, who tells me he wrote a number of comedy

41. I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me (courtesy of

42. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me (courtesy of

43. I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
Written by Jack Clement (BMI) (courtesy of Charles)

44. I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade
(courtesy of Bruce)

45. I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger (courtesy of

46. I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over
According to ASCAP, the acutal title is simply, "Tears In My Ears"

47. I Got the Hungries for Your Love, and I'm Waitin In Your Welfare
Line (courtesy of John)

48. I Got Through Everything But The Door

49. I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
by Vern Gosdin (ASCAP)

50. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
Written by Byron Gallimore, Don Pfrimmer & William Shore (BMI) (courtesy of

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

I've got that new Alanis Morrissette song ("Hands Clean"?) in my head and I can't get it out. It's not particularly terrible (and she's annoyed me to no end with worse) - but again, it's those hokey-yet-catchy choruses that have you singing it over and over ...Flash forward to a few yearssss laterrrrrr... Ironic, don'tcha think?
In any case, today I've been relaxed yet seminally busy... I worked out this morning via a 13.5 lb weight and push-ups, read more of my Great-grandmothers diaries (covering her early teen years and start of her literary career), and went with mom to Costco to wonder at the abundance of things and free samples. We later went on a small hike around the muddy deschutes and old mill district.
Tomorrow will probably go and visit grandparents... However now, I am going to do laundry...

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

Here in Bend after an uneventful 5am flight (and on a day where another potential terrorist attack could've happened), and already sinking into Mom and Dad's recliners in front of the tube. Also have started to read old documents and journals both belonging to my Grandmother (her trip across country in the 30's) and my great-grandmother Wanda. Have only cracked the first few pages - so I'm sure to get to these sometime during the trip. I'm nodding off. Think I need some sleepage.

Monday, February 11, 2002

Again, more mania and spurred on by a tight departure schedule 5am tomorrow morning. I'm trying to stuff a week's worth of dirty laundry into my gap issue duffel bag and it won't $%(*$&ing budge. I better play it cool - I can just see my luggage gone through, and then strewn across terminal C, me scrambling to pick up my dirty calvins up from the Complimentary coffee section...
I'm so sore - did I mention that? I started this evening by attending a 6:30 Yoga class with Rachel... Amazingly enough, I remembered Downward Dog, especially because I was about 19 and still couldn't do it then (and I especially couldn't pull it off now)... I then squeezed in about 20 minutes of Cardio, and then met Issiah for another hour of beneficial torture. I am now attempting to get this blog posted, my bags packed, grab a quick shower and 5 hours of sleep.

Sunday, February 10, 2002

24 hours and 2200 calories later, I've literally been running around the city, going from event to event, spending energy and trying to get it back... I seriously wonder if I should invest in a car or a scooter with all that i've managed to fit in over the past day...
I spent yesterday at the weekly art night. Lyle and I determined we need to compartmentalize our approach to music. Lacking musical dexterity (or know-how) and getting new people to jumpstart the band isn't helping, since we've no real finished songs. The idea is to now record onto tracks -- work them into real songs by playing around and layering more as we see fit.
I later went to Night One - the big A's post-holiday party they had at the historic(read cheaper) Seattle DC. They turned it into a big Ol' Rave-BurningMan kind of event (complete with museum and multimedia installation art representing our past 7 years of toil). Overall, it was the good, party-hard kind of spectacle that usually get's thrown... Big and flashy and fun, but at the same time, it was one of those awful work functions where I lapse into the following exchange with almost everyone:
Them: Hey, you came!
Me: Yeah, I had to see... Morbid curiosity.
Them: (Straining to hear) Yeah... What?
Me: Nothing. Wasn't important.
Them: (looking at over the crowd) - Kinda weird huh? You know?
Me: Yeah, very weird.
Them: Yeah. Well, see ya. Gotta get another beer.
Me: Yes! Have fun!
I couldn't only take less than an hour with strained conversations (I seriously wonder if it's some defect in me to be as boring to talk to outside of work as possible, but I fail to be fascinating or fascinated.)
23:00 hrs - I hailed a shared cab with three other corporate-money types and went downtown to Patti Summers where Jame's roomate was playing. Unfortunately, James was not there, Patti Summers was crowded and my semi-formal jacket just made me look like a creepy, aging yuppie in a sea of young punks. Fortunately (or perhaps unfortunately) I was paged that we couldn't find anyone to cover tonight's nightshift. SANCTUARY!
I don't know - some sick, perverse satisfaction that I could sit, unbothered and without the smoke, age and attitude was more appealing than sitting through another set by the opening act. This required a regrettable exit to Jame's very amiable roomate -- so I told him I would return... (I don't know why I said that)... I came home, changed into comfies and jumped yet another cab (my third this evening) to work. Of course, nothing was literally happening for hours on end, but I managed to get my monday tasks done well ahead of time (and avoid the usual self-induced crisis)...
7 tired hours later --- I am stumbling home. (I opted to walk as the stinky, curvey #60 bus was simply not going to do after all my adventures)... Crawl into bed around 8:00am - sleep blisffuly until 11:00am, and wake to meet up with Pam and Helen in the Udistrict. We have brunch at Flowers and then meet up with Ian for a very student production of "Importance of Being Earnest" (meaning - some good comic moments, some very bad acting and a regrettabley fey miscast for one of the lead roles).
I'm home now - I'm slightly better than burnt toast at the moment, but I am so looking forward to sleeping 12 horus a day over the next week. I am contemplating a nap. Or perhaps not.