Thursday, February 14, 2002

Ok - a few days late, but here's my V-day post... the Top 50 (there's a list of about 200 or so) Worst Country Western Song Titles, courtesy of Lorah Edna:
. All I Want From You (Is Away)
Written by Bobby Harden (ASCAP)

2. All My Exes Live In Texas

3. All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down
Written by Gene Plott, Harold Powell & Roni Stoneman (BMI) (courtesy of

4. Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart? (courtesy of
Double Parked Heart by Jim Pollock (BMI) (Could this be the same song?)

5. Are You on the Top 40 of the Lord? (courtesy of Joel)

6. At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump (courtesy of
Apparently this is from a Weird Al Yankovic album, "One More Minute." But it
sounds like a country title, so I'll keep it!

7. Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears
(courtesy of Jim)

8. Bubba Shot The Jukebox

9. Bubba's Inconvenience Store
by Bett Butler (BMI)

10. Cow Cow Blues Written by Charles "Cow Cow" Davenport (ACAP),
and recorded by Bing Crosby, among others.
Not a country song at all, as it turns out, but I've left it on the list
because of the title's similarity to...

11. Cow Cow Boogie (Moo Moo My Love)
This one's been performed by everyone from The Judds to Mel Torme, according
to ASCAP. Also not to be confused with...

12. Cow Cow Strut
by Barbara Chamberlin (SOCAN)

13. Did I Shave my Legs for This? by Deana Carter (courtesy of Scott)

14. Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You.
by Tanya Tucker (BMI)

15. Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load! (courtesy of

16. Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' on Yo-mind
by Loretta Lynn (BMI) (courtesy of Hamp)

17. Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When
I Ride (courtesy of Diane)

18. Don't Squeeze My Sharmon. (Yes, that IS the correct spelling)
Written by Carl Belew & Van Givens (BMI)

19. Don't Strike A Match (To The Book Of Love)
Written by Pat Alger & Hal Ketchum (BMI)

20. Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)
Written by Paul Charles Craft

21. Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
Written by Rex Pearce (BMI) (courtesy of Rick)

22. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed.
Written by Richard Friedman (BMI)

23. Git Up Off'n the Floor Hannah (a Bitter New Year's Eve)
by Red Ingle and the Natural Seven, Written by Foster Carling & Joe
Washburne (ASCAP) (courtesy of "Narkspud")

24. Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart.
Written by Liz Anderson (BMI)

25. Hand me the Pool Cue and Call Yourself an Ambulance (courtesy of
Tom, who isn't sure it's a real song)

26. Her Only Bad Habit Is Me
Believe it or not, three songs with this title in the BMI database.

27. Here's A Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
by Travis Tritt - "It's All About to Change" (several folks submitted this

28. High Cost of Low Living
by John Steele & James Sloane (ASCAP)

29. Hold On To Your Men..Cause she's Single Again (courtesy of Susan)

30. How Can I Get Over You if You Won't Get Out from Under Me? (courtesy
of Dan)
How Can I Get Over You Till You Get Out from Under Him? (alternate title
courtesy of Mike)

31. How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?
Written by Leonard Linnehan & Louis Philip Perry (ASCAP) (courtesy of
But there are a half-dozen songs with this title in the BMI database!

32. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've
Been A Liar All My Life?
According to Murphy, this song was written for the film Royal Wedding
starring Fred Astaire, and was a novelty dance number.

33. How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
by Mel Tillis (BMI)

34. How Did You Get so Ugly Overnight? (courtesy of Mark, who's not sure
it's a real song either)

35. I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me
2 songs with this title in the BMI database (courtesy of Rick)

36. I Can't Pass the Bar, and There's One on my Way Home (courtesy of

37. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life (courtesy of Charles)

38. I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes 'Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus
Sittin' on the Dashboard of my Car
a.k.a. "Plastic Jesus" by Ernie Marrs (courtesy of Bill)

39. I Don't Do Floors
by Don Cook & Charles Victor Rains (ASCAP)

40. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
by Thom Sharpe (courtesy of Gail, who tells me he wrote a number of comedy

41. I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me (courtesy of

42. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me (courtesy of

43. I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
Written by Jack Clement (BMI) (courtesy of Charles)

44. I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade
(courtesy of Bruce)

45. I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger (courtesy of

46. I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over
According to ASCAP, the acutal title is simply, "Tears In My Ears"

47. I Got the Hungries for Your Love, and I'm Waitin In Your Welfare
Line (courtesy of John)

48. I Got Through Everything But The Door

49. I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
by Vern Gosdin (ASCAP)

50. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
Written by Byron Gallimore, Don Pfrimmer & William Shore (BMI) (courtesy of

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