Pushing 40

Well, it's official - I am now on the wrong side of 30. I can no longer claim mid-30's, but can still say '30-something'... I can also say pushing 40 and nearing middle age. It's strange tho - cos I don't feel it. Probably because i'm one of those 'grups' who refuses to grow up and yet, probably old beyond my years, i have no sense of what middle age should feel like (note - I am achy from the gym more and more - less energized, sigh)... In any case, here's a list of things I want to do before I turn the big 40 - so I only have one more year to complete this: 1) Travel to S. America 2) Refi my condo 3) Volunteer more 4) Engage in some team sport that I like 5) Break a few hearts and mend them.

Thanks Harvey

Lotta cynicism that I'm trying to ditch, and not be complacent. I just saw the Milk movie last night and today is coincidentally the 30th Anniversary of his death. Lot I could say -- but other's said it better, so - while I'm getting my Thanksgiving Mix together for dinner up north, I'm going to just say "Thanks, Harvey".

Bachelorette

Again - alot of memes from this weekend's protest march on prop8. Questions of numbers and people and what will happen next. It was good to see large sized crowds (*pictures could not capture how many people were there), but then again the 'bubble effect' - urban areas where people are committed and passionate more about civil rights than say in the hinterlands where the votes came from.
In some twisted irony however, Focus on Family had to lay off a few people. I'm sure there is some religious conspiracy theories that we're causing it, no doubt.
My own conspiracy theories about gay marriage are biological: that only the strong get married, regardless of orientation, so it's probably best to support them. But for me personally - I'm wondering if any solid form of monogamy will take hold at some point (or will I just spinster away like i'm doing now... wandering around my 2 bedroom condo and thinking of getting a pet to fill some void and inevitably die alone)... I wanted to make a sign that made a nod to "lifelong bachelor" or some joke, saying that the #'s of unmarrieds are falsely disproportionate, like the moniker meant a century ago.

Propagator H8ter

The one casualty of the election season of course is prop 8, which it's passing signifies that again the American public has faith-based voting practices, and not sensible ones. That the country moved forward in progress (voting in Obama) yet somehow latched onto the values-voting arguments of the right is sadly not surprising. I wish I had the chance to do my own PSA on the matter and my read-copy would have gone somthing like this:

Hey - Look, I know the words "Gay Marriage" tend to make your blood boil because you feel the uncertain need to race to the back bible each and every opportunity to put us down. You can't discriminate against us now in the workplace nor can you bash us in public without some serious consequences. Yeah - you must feel pretty powerless as the last few civil rights measures passing demonstrated to you that religion and constitutional rights are entirely separate, so you've decided to take your feelings of inadequacy and place them on the one, most single boring institutional right that we're trying to fight to get - the right to be part of the normal status quo. Fine. But have you really looked at what this threat is? Have you seen the gays and lesbians marrying in the pages of NYT or People for that matter? They're hardly the hedonists you worry about at night. They're not the glamorous monsters you have romantic notions of conquering. They're not demons dressed in Folsom Street fetish wear. They're normal. They're boring. They might have kids, mortgages, concerns like yours. They may or may not have superfluous reasons for getting married, but 9 x out of 10, it'll be because they've been through a long , boring haul like you with the same partner of so many years. But hey - you're not fighting to reverse gay personal rights, nor sodomy laws. You're making this about gay marriage - basically benign subject if you look at it objectively. But hey -- I bet you need to lash out at something. I know you really feel the need to kick a puppy right about now with losing a few culture wars in the past, so the defenseless puppy are these gay couples who pose no threat to you. Fine - kick the puppy if it will make you feel better. (However, the puppy grows into a very large, resentful dog who will one day be evaluating you for a loan or possible business deal... And wow, it'll be apparent that you were such a bigot in the past. What will you do then? Will you still keep fighting the "good" fight?) But hey sport, at least you can sleep safe tonight knowing that there's one less married couple in the world troubling you. There's just alot of angry, single voters out there now... Growing in numbers and coming to your town to demonstrate. Good night.

A New Hope

I am so thankful this AM... Having been on capitol hill last night and getting the news about Obama's victory was cause for much celebration. It was like having a true New Year's eve on a dawn of the new century, only it came 8 years later and with much struggle. Obama's speech was moving, people were crying and hugging. There was dancing in the street until 2am. It seemed like maybe the cynicism that America didn't have a conscience was washed away... And for once, Patriotism wasn't some bigoted, divisive tool used to drive the country apart.
But, we'll have to see what can happen in the next 4 years. There's alotta mess to clean up.

Hallows Election Eve

I am not going to dwell on things or think bad thoughts... Nor will i resign to cynicism or be pessimistic. I am, however, going to take tomorrow in stride. Is it any wonder that the eve of the election is so close to Halloween? I think there's some dramatic nature effects that are aligned to make it look like the world is secretly conspiring against you... that maybe things are not going to work themselves out and that we get the president (or despot) we secretly deserve. There's a time where meaning wears masks and tries to trick you into voting against your interests, where such obvious rhetoric flies in the face of things that you know is concocted by spin doctors (who are no better writers at copy than j-school freshmen)... tricksters, how we fall for them time and time again. Will there be more lies and deceit as we draw close on the 11th hour or will things work out themselves? Are systems always corrupt and full of decay or are they self-correcting? I can't say for certain, but I do know that I will be drinking tomorrow night (either happily or unhappily) at the Showbox.

Whoops... Why didn't you wake me?

Oh gosh -- I can't believe how much i've fallen off the blogwagon. A few days went by, then weeks, then months. I've had a few milestones, a few scares, and a few small victories (did the STP in one day)... But uhhh, there's been this nagging sense that I've let this go to pot.

I've had a few moments this election season where I've really wanted to comment, post videos, live-blog the debates, but so many more qualified and interesting people have already done that. Then there's the whole economic meltdown (which I commented on earlier -- hmm, told you so?), but that's just depressed me way too much. Then there's a whole slew of no on Prop 8 stuff out there that I can't even begin to address. So, I guess I'll just ruminate on the changing of the fall leaves... Ahhh, lovely.