Cruel Movies of Youth

I've been neglectful in my posts recently for a few reasons -- the summer wind-up, book-club meetings and related activities, and lastly a nasty cold (virus) my Mac may or may not have from questionable downloading practices (my iMac is kind of whory)... but also, I've been doing some film stuff at SIFF, home and around that I'd just have to share...

I saw this great film adapted from the Scott Heim book, "Mysterious Skin". Finally, after a drought of really trite, bad indie queer movies, Araki returns and gives us something that's got a bit more substance. I gave it a rave up here as not to bore you with the details, but I was pleased as punch that someone had the cajones to adapt this, and that it was Araki himself (being sorely missed in this conservative climate).

Kind of in relation to that film, I also saw Tarnation which was incredible. I am truly awestruck by the force of that film (and, in true geek, gawk n' fawning fashion, I also wrote up a review here), but I think I'm more blown away by the fact he did something with really easy tools. It's liberating to think that you can piece a film together for just under $250. I watch the Apple affects and just think how I'd like to do something similar (but thankfully of course I don't have any lurid histories or family drama to record), but it shows that doing a doco is so incredibly easy and I'm kicking myself for not getting any films together in the last few months. Argh. This film is a testament to personal narratives, though -- and how easily you can do them if you just have the time and patience to peice it together.

Lastly - for Book Club, I saw Love and Pop which was written by Ryu Murakami (who wrote the last book we read, "Coin Locker Babies"). This was another in the similar teen-angst vein, only this time it's set in Japan and deals with the disaffected female youth turning to the oldest profession (in order to afford the 'bling-bling'). This was shot on video with a multitude of bizarre angles and long Murakami-like dialogues that drove me crazy reading his work. Of course, this was the less angst-ridden and violent of his works, but it's still pretty messed up (and shows the f'd up priorities of pop-culture obsessed youth in post-bubble Tokyo).

Well, I think I finally ended my terrible teens trilogy. Tomorrow I go to see Niceland tomorrow night (done by the same guy that did "Cold Fever") and then a Bollywood movie on Wednesday... More on that later...

Blue State Appreciation Day

Of course, I'm lovin' this little anti-snob-plate story, and the fact it's coming from WA (so close to the godless commies in Vancouver, so far from Kansas)... But then we should all wake up and smell the exhaust -- most of the vehicles these days anywhere past the Southcenter exits will have either sport a ribbon of some kind and or a Bush/Cheney sticker. Something tells me I'd get majorly rear-ended on 1-5 by some southend values-voter in an SUV. (*And yes, I'm a southender but I, like my filthly iMac, am unscrupulous in my wanting to control the world, keep standard emissions at 1990's levels (and keep 6FTU on for 3 more seasons, damn you Alan Ball!)...

Speaking of value voters, I have to also appreciate that This American Life finally did something to address the notions of Church and State, which after listening to, I'm convinced we are growing more into a scary theocracy starting to look like Franco's Spain. Granted, the audience will be the usual Lake Wobegon do-nothinicks who just give money to a slowly eroding PBS, but hey, maybe some values-voter will secretly recruited into recognizing their constitutional rights are probably not something they should be handing over in the offering plate? Hmm - well, at least no SUV's up here have NEW TESTAMENT written on thier assault cannon, but give it time, I'm sure it will become big...

Cha Cha Charming

Cha Cha Charming

Here's the playlist for this Sunday:
Feel Good Inc (Single Edit) Gorillaz Feel Good Inc - Single
Random Lady Sovereign Random - Single
White Lines (Don't Do It) [Long Version] The Sugarhill Gang - Grandmaster & Melle Mel The Sugar Hill Records Story
Wonders Never Cease Morcheeba The Antidote
Bonus Track: Everybody Pass Me By (One Cut Remix) Pepe Deluxe Super Sound
Electric Tit Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra Ubiquity Studio Sessions, Vol. 2: Moods and Grooves
Here It Comes Doves Lost Souls
My Mathematical Mind Spoon Gimme Fiction
De-Luxe Lush Ciao! 1989-1996
C + F Sam Prekop Who's Your New Professor
It's a Lonely Planet Photon Band It's a Lonely Planet
Spacehead The Primitives The Primitives: Best Of The Primitives
Born in Flames Essential Logic Fanfare in the Garden
Human Replace (No Human Is Gonna Replace Me Mix By Original Hamster) Numbers Death
Bad Cartridge (E-Pro) [Remix by Paza of The X-Dump] Beck GameBoy Variations (Hell Yes Remix) - EP
Baba O'Riley The Who Who's Next
Hey Ya! Supersuckers Hey Ya! - Single

Ill Communication

Ma Bell got the Ill Communication

Holy Crap.



Courtesy of Eugene Mirman, this is scary, funny and just plain dumb. And here's another irreverant call to their Customer Service center from Mr. Mirman. I'd like to not promote late night drinking and dialing and giving their poor, brainwashed customer service reps a piece of your mind. We should just let them dwell in their retarded rhetoric, and well, who am I to... 1-800-349-2611 whoops. That just fell out. Oh damn. Sorry. Guess you'll just have to call them and rip them into a new one. I'm sure they're trained to handle those kinds of situations.

The Tigers Have Spoken

The Tigers Have Spoken

This has nothing to do with a much hyped-operating system, nor I really shouldn't sully the title from Neko's damn fine live album, but Le Tigre, WTF? Why are you pushing money and talent down that celebutante cash-cow? I don't necessarily dislike PH nor do I spend an inordinate amount of time giving her the contextual space that rest of the country seems so set on doing (afterall, her main job is maintaining her name, everyone is doing a nice job of supporting that career). But Le Tigre? Sheesh. Sellouts. Aging Riot Grrls should be Rioting...

It was this same feeling today when I had a grandpa moment (of looking back 10-15 yrs ago with shameless nostalgia) and saying We really could use a Karen Finley right about now... Of course, we have all kinds of manifestions of shock and outrage, but nothing that has the moral punch as calling out oppression, racism and bigotry that's going on in this country. It's all MTV pimpin and people with the attention span of a gnat (thus the Jackass method of self-depreciation takes center stage to Abu Ghraib and the real frat-boy hijinks at Guantamano). What people don't realize, and perhaps Le Tigre with this current celebrity brain tumor they just developed, is that the shock value and morality do not have to be the tools of the right. Why aren't we out there making art to point people inward and say yeah, you know - going against human rights - that sh** ain't right... but alas, people are wrapped up in the outrage-decadence model (which any society teetering on the brink of collapse requires to fuel distrust, racism, bigotry, sexism and homophobia among the right...

get busy

Get Busy

Oh hey there - How you been? Me, I'm waist deep in social activity these days - so I've just a brief minute to say hello and give you a few articles. Sorry I can't stay and talk, but you know me these days... On. The. Go! My life is so double booked and my personal assistant (Seela) is working overtime to make sure you and I get, you know, Catch-up time. I'm sure she'll find something soon, lunch or possibly just a 5-minute exchange of phone texts, but regardless - she'll be in touch. Oh sorry - can't get into conversation now... No talk! Just wave!!! (yelling from cab) IF IT'S TRULY IMPORTANT - CALL MY ASSISTANT! SHE'LLL SET EVERYTHING UP!! (cab drives off and leaves the following artifacts in it's wake):

Ann Coulter Slash Fiction: Does anything say eww (but elicit laughs) than this way inappropriate blog or this site exposing Coulter as a former arab-lovin' trannie?. (Note - not appropos for the workplace).



Atheist Article in Salon: this interesting Richard Dawkins interview in salon shows that America has fallen off the flat earth and into the dark ages. Granted, he's on the extreme end of atheism (and says agnosticism is a cop-out), but he does have interesting points about religion as a virus...



Celebutante: The Value of Nothing: Paris Hilton can appear and do nothing and earn more than I could make in two years. Read about it here.

Summer

Lists of the upcoming summer

A compilation of scenes from the upcoming months (to the tune of "That's Entertainment" by the English band, the Jam).

• Walking along a semi-busy street at night and feeling the heat wash over you in waves. The sound of approaching cars and people doing things outdoors that are normally done indoors.
  
• The smell of propane and pulled weeds. A woman cursing in her backyard at either dogs or small children.
  
• "Out of Office" Notices from personal distribution lists.
  
• The completely failed-to-notice idea of not wearing sunscreen.
  
• Plants wilting on hot porches. Yellowing newspapers. A half-consumed beer bottle and partially full long island.
  
• Citronella candles in obscene colors.
  
• Vintage Polyshirt-sweat smelling of old cigarettes and old man sweat (not yours).
  
• Not just cold refreshing cola, but throwback soda that you've not had in a while.
  
• No really good movies until September. Only theater to see is Bald Face Lie and late night drag somewhere obscure.
  
• Things with Mayo going bad really quick.
  
• Late night TV with your door wide open and the sound blaring away.
  
• Sitting on the floor in your underwear in front of a fan, watching the last rays of sun going down.
  
• Wishing you were in Iceland.
  

Crap

Crap, Double Crap

A few days passed and I've been negligent in my blogging. There was quite a few articles and opinionated things I was going to discuss...

• The fact I just finished "The Underminer" and found it hilarious yet terrifying real.
  
• The fact that I bought the new iDN Mag from Uwajimaya and have been turned onto all these great new euro-bands (and the Morr label).
  
• The fact that I saw a Leigh Bowerey documentary and found him to be completely original (even 20 years ago) and we're sorely missing that element of whimsey and outrage that was the 80's.
  
• The fact that Ann Coulter had an explosion on the Cover of Time as looking like an insect in drag herself.
  
• The fact they've just elected a really super scary uber conservative ex-nazi Pope to really make sure we go back to the dark ages.
  
• The fact that RIchard Florida just published a new book "Flight of the Creative Class" where he goes on to discuss the impact of our unfriendly and near-fascist immigration policies (along with hating any minority for that matter) and our bloated arts community is still cow-towing to conservatives for funds.
  

No - I was going to write all about those things, but then I got forwarded this article and find myself dealing with alot of questions and issues, which immediately came after reading the Senate outcome of HB1515. As much as I don't want to lapse into a trail of expletives and hurl things at pictures of various bigoted, stupid senators from Hok-wee-uhmm (wherever that is) - I am on the verge of forming a cultural fatwa on the scary individual who got this whole mess turned up... Ken Hutcherson. He probably had more impact on the Senators than Microsoft, but that he had this impact on Microsoft is terrifying to say the least. Previous zealots (Phelps, Falwell, Roberson) are rhetorical and simply do the money dance for the cameras... This guy could walk into a corporate office and change a policy, like the Gestapo coming into a place of business and doing pretty much the same thing in prewar Germany. Chilling... Maybe I'm overreacting and the allusion is a bit extreme - but something about this powerplay is bigger and deeper than we're seeing at the moment. But then again - now MS is lying and saying he didn't have an impact. Indeed.

Well - I thank the god I believe in (the nice one that accepts all people) that I have a Mac.

There's more interesting debate here and hereif you're interested.

Shaw-nuh

It's Pronounced "Shaw-Nuh"

And because this has been a Rock-n-Roll week - my coworker Mark forwarded this hilarious life-illustrating-art gem: the real New Romantic 80's band that the Office's(UK) Ricky Gervais was in: Seona Dancing.

I don't think he's the bottom one with crimped hair, and I am hardly one to through stones for the totally 80's-ness of having crimped hair and that euro-fey fashion, but mine never made it to vinyl (just bad yearbook pictures)... Also - Gervais went onto manage Suede, so there's more to the man than brilliant comic timing I guess. Oh and hey - they were big in the Phillipines also!

Giant Shoutout

Giant Shoutout

In honor of the Giant premiere (first gig ever!), I am giving a shout-out courtesy of recent photo's from the first fateful and memorable Joy Division gig:

"“It’ll be interesting to see how many people claimed to be there on the night though. I’d really like to meet other people who genuinely were there, but this could end up a bit like the Sex Pistols at the Free Trade Hall which everyone seems to claim to have witnessed.”

You can see the collection here...

I'm sure we'll be saying the same about Giant (altho' no suicides - please!!) Good luck tonight to Giant! You can see their gig here...

J.D.

Working out the particulars with iDVD

I fooled around with iDVD over the weekend. Using the short dogme film we created as my test. I want to do something that I can easily assemble in 2 minutes but looks quality and not something I slammed together. The tools are incredibly cheap and easy, but at the same time, I want to make it look well worn. As Jonathan Caouette proved to us – you can use simple Mac tools and have it be festival-ready. I will commit to writing a script this weekend for a short and then seeing if I can grab some motley volunteers to help me impliment it.

See more progress on: make a film

Quick Shout Out For Giant

Quick Giant Shout Out

Here's a quick plug for anyone reading this (yes, all three of you) and in the Seattle Metro area: My friend's band (Allen and Lyle) are going to premiere on Wednesday April 13th at 9:00pm, at the Rebar.



Check them out via their oh-so-slick website...



And yes, it's also the same day that we're finally getting folks together for the book club (so I can cross that off one of my 43 things... So far, my choices that I'm going to bring: this Safran Foer, this Albo, and maybe, just maybe, this classic since he just died...

My Appropriation

My Appropriation

Today Salon ran an interesting tirade on Gwen Stefani's use of Harajuku Girls as props in videos and overall entourage. Of course, the reviewer felt the fetishation a cold and commodofied parasitic relationship between the innocent Harajuku street freaks and the evil Stefani empire that's built on pushing designer denim and a clothing line (appropriately named l.a.m.b, as in easily led as a...). Yeah - it's probably not the bigger of all evils (pole-dancing as liberation and other vapid arguments at whatever-wave feminism Camille Paglia is surfing), but Gwen is doing the gosh-these-Japanese-girls-are-just-like-manga-robots kind of wink to audience. She knows they are a prop and nothing more... So they do ridiculous pantomime bows and make with the stereotypes so whitey in Omaha will relate somehow. Oddly enough however, the Harajuku teens - ones that I've also photographed when I went to Japan - play and perform for the camera. These are girls who want to perform as larger than life comic book stereotypes (bloody nurse, evil victorian dollie, sexy blade-runner teen). And contrary to the parallels the writer makes to the other NYT photo essay that was highlighting Japanese teenage girls, these are not the demure teens the Danish photographer Hellen van Meene was focusing on. Those were schoolgirls being stopped in the street and thrown into whatever western-fixated gaze the viewer wants to initiate. These particular girls however (the Harajuku gang) are ones that are staging their own music videos. They design their own costumes and make their own stories. Which is probably why Gwen really has it all wrong (she'd be singing back up if they would allow her).

cosplayzuku5
Originally uploaded by Wickidboy.

Speaking of feminist backlashes - Andrea Dworkin died?! First the pope (on one extreme puritanical end) and now Dworkin. I had been just reading about her biography, how it was frenzied and paranoid (alas - I did not know she had been raped in a Parisian Hotel a few years ago) but recalling the essays in college that we read and watched Not a Love Story in the interests of staring a dialogue (but more to shock anyone who didn't have any position on pornography before). She was someone that caused lefties, gays and artists to just shudder - killjoy, irritant and brimestone preacher of extremes. She and Catherine McKinnon had single handedly dismanteled the constitution in the interests of what would later become known as the "greater good"... She'd give the right wing a good stereotype of the left wing gone heretic, and she'd be the stereotype of an unfunny feminist. In alot of ways though - her extreme views, born out of alot of terrible shit in her own life, gave way to modern sexuality because everyone I knew in the 90's were quickly running from the repression and shame that both the left and right could instill. I remember her affect on liberties gave way to how people personally felt about pornography (moving beyond good vs evil paradigms and soviet-like extremism that she had fostered a decade before). Art would become more provacative and transgressive in an effort to push boundaries (Madonna, Bruce La Bruce, and Pedro Almodovar notwithstanding). People started to open up to sexuality as discourse because it was almost as if the crazy person in the room had made some extreme claim that got everything thinking. I guess you don't really know your monsters until you see them and their body of work... Like Susie Bright acknowledges, she's someone who clearly defined the opposition, someone who didn't join, felt probably shunned, had anger in her life as the core of her being. At least we can say she had an impact...

On the Papal Visit

On the Papal Visit

I suppose the pope's passing should get some merit - as I think this is one of those insane spectacles I'd never really thought I'd live to see. 4 million people descended on Rome, which never had any preparation for such an onslaught. The fervor that pulled people in is the same fervor that I find charming in a mosiac-your-house-in-a-religious-theme-but-entirely-with-dried-macaroni-kind-of-way, interesting, but something I'd never really do. I'm not religious and I tend to be more agnostic in my thoughts about spirituality (you can't define it in testements, torahs or stone tablets), but I can see and understand why people either love or hate him. He preached peace and then in the same breath condemned gays and unmarried women seeking abortions. He's part of a corporate lineage of religious business, inlfuencing millions and policies that still impact a woman's right to choose, safe-sex education and gay marriage, yet have not been elected by the same body of people (it just happens after much politcking). Don't even get me started in the creepy way it dealt with it's peodophilia problem (sweep it under the rug and transfer the offending priests to some other parish where they're free to do it all again. Rinse, repeat, repent).
I guess though as raised a Lutheran, I'm ambivelent. I have no grudge because the way history went down in the 13th century, Martin Luther saw the same ridiculous structure and posted his famous resignation letter to the catholic church. That's why I can't understand why people drag their dogme around with them like rabid knights on crusades still. Although - someone the other day at work said that anger brings you closer to godliness (because it's what makes you true to your emotion and sense of morality). Given that most moral compasses these days point to alot of self-justification, I don't agree. I 'd like to think that compassion, either within or outside of religion is what trancends us.

addictions

Addictions and Subtractions

So - I've now more power at my finger tips, finally having upgraded to DSL. I'm realizing what/why most of my time was wasted in an afternoon, and in just one word: iTunes. If there has ever been an argument for the concept of "trainspotting" as a concept that should be in the AMA, iTunes brings out the fanaticism in anyone. I have chased down more musical curiousities in 5 hours than I thought was possible (and purchased about 15$ worth of singles. It will make a good mix tape (if anyone out there is interested), but here's my current playlist:

2nd Floor
The Creatures

Galang
M.I.A.

Cish Cash
Basement Jaxx & Siouxsie Sioux

Tribulations
LCD Soundsystem

Reason Is Treason
Kasabian

Let's Go to Bed
Ivy

Filthy/Gorgeous
Scissor Sisters

Gossip Folks (Fatboy Slim Remix)
Missy Elliott

My Girl Josephine
Super Cat

Genius of Love
Tom Tom Club

Mega Medley
Zapp

Yes - it's very post-Williamsburg,tonights-music-on-the-OC-was-brought-to-by, kinda teeny pop, but hey... it's stuff I'm jonesing to hear. You can also purchase the entire lot here if you have iTunes...

Pizza Out.

April Fools

A Fuhhh-neeeee

While the FCC decides to go after cable programming for pushing the boundaries of art and comedy (which always goes against popular taste), we can remember that sometimes the best comic spectacles are the most obvious:

and

Nothing says "April Fools" like a Situationalist Stunt like a good ol' fashioned pie in the face (or salad dressing dousing) of Conservative pundits.

Signified Vegatables

Signified Vegatables

Terry Shiavo, who now get's more google action than anyone alive or dead, will be forgotten in one week. Meanwhile - the right-wing circus roars it's hilarious spectacle like a Fellini like circus (recalling the virgin sighting in La Dolce Vita). The meaning that the churchies brainstormed in under a month's time has no historical relevance - according to a Jesuit scholar, "Sanctity of Life" is a recent term, and one that's being used for this particular agenda (and not one for say - repealing the death penalty in Texas or ending the war in Iraq?)... Yes, I fall victim to the same partialism if I say I support human rights and Amnesty international, but have my logic is reduced to the obvious: These are living people. I also concede that you can draw lines and conclusions as you want, this isn't our business. The "Sanctity of Life" as applied to the personal choices of a family are as rhetorically hollow as the Jesse Jackson media op (and what happened here?). But, the rabid angry fan-base for "SOL" arguments, like Rosanne Barr once said of her middle-american detractors, "Well, at least that's one less person forming the human-fence around the abortion clinic." Unfortunately, they won't go elsewhere.

History Teaches Us Nothing

History Teaches Us Nothing

This week's Stranger Cover story features a report on the Micah Painter gay bashing incident last summer (since the trial is occuring at this very moment). The outrage felt last July over this easily resurfaces when you read Eli Sander's peice. It's a very telling analysis - much like the way "Sorrow and Pity" outed the secret hatred Parisians still had for Jews generations later. In this case - it's emigres from small towns and immigrants from other lands, and ironically, both victim and criminals are of the near-same faith. It makes you sick with fear that if three incredibly stupid, hateful people can be consumed by bigotry and intolerance, what's the slippery slope for more than just those three?
Ironically - I always felt safe walking home from the Rebar, 24hourFitness and Timberline (the area in the denny regrade where the incident occured). Capitol Hill seemed to take care of it's own the minute I arrived (gangs of Q-patrol people like a 2nd-rate Guardian Angels troupe walked the streets, but it seemed unneccessary - everyone had your back). Yet you read the way it went down and you realize it could be you. Bigots stupid with self-hate and alcohol infused anger arrive to sack civilization at every turn. While the war on terror rages - these are the real barbarians at our gates - and no, being from out of the country has nil to do w/this. These barbarians are cut in every corner of the world. We don't need to give them years of historical oppression, or tribal anguish fueled by machete-wielding violence of teenage juantus - you just need hate and a passage from the bible to reason your hate.
The peice was published before the verdict -which was returned with a Guilty Verdict that it was a hate crime. There is no justice in this however as they got off with lesser degrees of assault. The fact that the bottle was used as a weapon should have made this attempted murder at the very least. And what about the victim? Life pretty much ruined, and wanting to possibly leave this tolerant city. Nothing has been gained from this - we can have all the awareness we want, but no-one's reinforcing the gates (or so it seems). Maybe the Q-patrol should be brought back in force. And it becomes a community effort (everyone - gay, straight, black, white, old, young) are required to walk around and make sure everyone's safe at every possible hour. And perhaps we'll have big gates and a fortress wall?

Page Six Gossip

A Page Six-style Shoutout

Ok a bit late in coming (I blame blogger servers!! Waaah!)
Which Hanson-obsessed, former-Seattle, Ex-zonian, Spice-Grrl not only gets all the cool celeb sightings, but also got the righteous privledge of meeting and escorting a certain Man-who-fell-to-earth around her workplace?
Not sayin... But dang, she gets to meet all the cool people...

Ok - this one was a no-brainer...

Ok this one was a no brainer

I probably shoulda’ waited until I got my tax-returns, but since I was in the vicinity of the local Mac store – I kinda caved a bit early and bought one. Oh mama – this one is sooo nice too! Quick, easy and takes up virtually no space. Transferring information from my ailing G4 was incredibly simple too. It only took one hour for initial set up and I was off (Looks like Mac has learned some lessons about this from the last time I bought this in 2000 and had to install OSX myself. Ugh. That took all night!)... It works like a dream so far, and I’m just luvin the extra’s I got (some extra ram and the new iPod mini which I am listening too right now). Easy goal to meet for a compulsive shopper.

See more progress on: buy an Apple iMac G5 Desktop

Welcome to my 43 Memes

Welcome to My 43 Meme's

Ok – so I decided to expand my to-do list (which has more do’s than dones at this point) and one of them is to not let the blog languish. I need to get back on the wagon and keep this regular and ready for action. Luckily, 43things.com has this handy new feature which lets me upload progress on all 43 goals to this blog. Booyeah. So – now my viewing public (of 3 or 4 people?) can watch my proactive procrastination working against me and all the other self-fufilling media nodes as we culturally implode ala Gawker style…

See more progress on: blog more

Jackopolitik

Jackopolotik:

This post by Momus and ensuing thread is the most interesting I've read to date on the whole Michael Jackson affair. If you step back from the creepiness and lurid details, you do see the ultimate post-modern sense of urgency to have him "normalized" in any sense (guilty or not guilty - american's can't deal w/any ambiguity).

What's even more compelling (although a no brainer) is the parallel one of the posters makes to Matthew Barney's Cremaster series. Apparently at a talk, Barney himself said that in the "Cremaster series, Michael Jackson is fully actualized"... Of course! That makes sense - the literal testicular drop hasn't happened for him - he's the castrati-freak of the hour, between sexes, race, and even age.

Unfortunately, consequences of creating a monster you get everyone becoming more monstrous in the hunt for the monster itself... Or maybe the Frankenstien reference is too bold, but it could wind up as a cautionary story for people who try to step outside of race, age, gender through money and plastic surgery. Kate Bornstien rallied behind the idea of a multiplicity of genders - this idea might come under attack...

Still - I guess the antagonism lends itself to such fun pastimes as "Escape from Neverland".

Fish in a Barrell

Fish in a Barrell and the Shooting Of...

I've been pop culture obsessed lately... It's probably because a dose of spring vanity and the influx of major media spectacles (the Jacko trial notwithstanding) are doing a nice job of distracting us all from the real terrors.
The NYT this sunday had the easy target of going after the Olsen Twins for their Sartorial foolery. I'm not one to dwell on surface issues and trivialities of what mega-stars show up to their day-jobs, therapy sessions and workshop meetings in, but it does point to the whole "trying to be earnest" cult of "not appearing to care". There isn't any real revolution going on here other than the obvious:

v.s.

Which one is trying vs not trying? The impromptu shots of the millionairess' walking askew w/a coffee beverage denotes importance and signifies power (because she can't truly be bothered, they've just adapted a language of bourgoise bohemianism that is borrowed from Williamsburg 5 years prior, but they're not going to let that stop us from laughing and pointing), while the alien oven-mitt from Vicktor-and-Rolfe has us running for the ailes...

Truly FUGLY as Salon has called it.

In any case - it's another brand of the "new/old sincerity" -- class is no longer a commodity because it's purchased on eBay for a few extra dollars.

Not/All About Me

I read a review of this book, and decided to purchase it... I'm bending a self-reflexive rule here by talking aloud to myself in a blog (which people may or may not read as much) and demonstrating Zengotita's premise that all is indeed enabled vanity. I want to find out however what this sense of self is... I think that we're all constantly checking ourselves out -- and seldom other people. This holds apparent (I posted a personal ad, it's a featured spot on the Stranger homepage - yet no one responds -- why? It's driving me insane... I suspect it's because everyone's focused on looking at themselves and how they relate to others. Hence - no one makes a move.) In any case - I'll have to see just how self-absorbed and centered I am when I get it.
I'm halfway through the Tynan biography. Actually - big lie, I'm skipping around it like a distracted schoolchild with ADD and reading bit parts. It does make me realize how connected he was to everything (writers, artists, pop stars) - advanced for his time in an era when information was more priveledge than commodity. I think we should all be forced to take tests on popular culture every year. Those who fail miserably should be hired immediately to write for television while the crop of last year's TV writers are sent into the wilderness to reflect.

March Hair

March Hair

List of things to accomplish by end of march. Not necessarily in any order.

1. Cut hair into pleasing shape. Add color.
2. Paint main room and bathrooms. Maybe tackle bedrooms.
3. Revamp my Website.
4. Revamp Beate's Website.
5. Get the BedRoom Soundtracks project started and underway.
6. Get a short film started in time for 3 dollar Bill Deadline.
7. Meet 10 New People
8. Volunteer. Somewhere. Possibly here.
9. Read two books. One for work. One for pleasure.
10. Plan Dinner Party for Parents when they arrive in April.

That should keep me busy for 4 weeks. But in case not and I need more to do: I also need to cut back on booze, trans fat and bad choices. I should stay home more, eat out less and exercise. I should not spend money on frivilous housewares and projects I'll not start. I should go to First Thursday (this thursday) and purchase art in Occidental Square. I should make wise investments. I should get rid of half of my unworn and ill-fitting wardrobe. I should get rid of unneccessary expenses that i no longer use (like my fotoblog - or I should take more pictures and use it). I should clean house once a week. I should clean the porch (file that under parental party in April). I should stop taking cabs to and from Capitol Hill and take the bus. Or I should buy a bike and start riding it.

Oh - crap - and I need to get my taxes into my CPA by early (possibly tomorrow) March...

Celebrity Warfare

Celebrity Warfare

I had realized that I my usual ambivalence to the oscar race gave way to inertia this year. I have no vested interest in it - even though there were actually some decent, independant films that made it into the running. It probably comes down to the fact that it's very spectacle has become more and more bland, most of the appalling attention turned toward the red carpet.

"Celebrities are becoming the sex of the 21st century," according to Samir "Mr. Magazine" Husni...

God - I really hope not, but I suspect we've already arrived. Celebrities are already the public currency... Eyes roll toward heaven and a monologue comes on which I'll say something I'll regret.

You want to know what makes me happy?

Tiny Christo!!

Oracles and Spectacles

Oracles and Spectacles

You know - something like this Tiger Killing near the dead Gipper's palace would have been a bad omen of great foreboding during Roman times. It would have foretold something ominous, had a Greek tragic arc welling up with drama, intrigue and some unfortunate events happening to some clueless Ceasar. Hmm - well, it is March.

In other news - I hear that Mikel Rouse is coming to OTB. I've not seen his prior work - but I've been intrigued to see the first "Talk Show Opera" they did called Dennis Cleaveland (Predating the Jerry Springer Opera by a few years). I've long thought that a performance staged like a prize fight would inevitably come back to eat it's own cultural tale like serpeant (signifying yet another omen of something - I can't remember if it's fortune or famine, but knowing the way things are, probably the latter).

In my news - I'm not going to the Gym. Story at 11:00. No, not really. No story I mean. The prices were too high, the location close, but not close enough. I already began to see what the gym entailed in terms of trying to remain enthused about it and knew immediately the grime, bad decor and even worse feng shui (it was over 3 different floors in a dilapitaded victorian office building) would end up discouraging me after 3 weeks. So I decided to take matters into my own hands - get some free weights, a bike and try to do this myself...

Papal Pablum

Papal Pablum

He did not just say that -- Oh -, he most certainly did.... and well, now them's fighting words. "Human rights against the family and against man" is a contradiction. Human vs Family? Human vs Man? Oh - the rhetoric just spirals like a DNA breakdown (which he probably doesn't believe in) and will hopefully face extinction (like the Dinosaurs he doesn't believe in)... Besides, he's living in the end of ideologies since the fall of communism. Oh - wait - there we go. One more enemy and "other" to take the heat off the problems their facing in their own divine agency. Ain't so divine is it? And the comment about "abortion" as a "holocaust"? Don't get me started...
Well - at least someone came out (on the Simpsons no less) and made a bold statement for gay Marriage.

Unwatchable Bodies of Work

Unwatchable Bodies of Work

I am trying to make it through Anatomy of Hell and surprisingly not finding it as outrageous as most people make it out to be (i just had to go to bed early so I could toss and turn for 4 hours). Although I am struck by some of the images - there's just somethings that if you require editing and a body double (which they point out prior to the credits they do) - it becomes fiction and thus intent is always suspect (thus taking away some of the intended shock - making it more unreal). Still - she's the only one who is taking these bold chances in film, and challenging the viewer to (like the character) watch her body which would normally be unwatchable.
Speaking of bodies - I'm starting to go to the gym again - or rather - I'm looking at my backpack full of gym gear and wondering if I should go fork over $40 to join. I am not necessarily hating my body at the moment - but I am doing that thing of catching myself in mirrors and seeing that I could lose a few pounds. I feel that I am unwatchable, but only in bad lighting. I certainly have no aspirations of getting the bulk I once envied in former years (that was truly a waste of time and esteem). I've been walking alot -- trying to get something out of my time spent rambling up and down King street going to and from work. I'm hoping that at least does something...
This brings me to a quote by Kenneth Tynan (whom I recently bought his diaries):
The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential orifice, these pointless globes are as near as the human form can ever come to abstract art.

Speaking of - guess I should comment on the passing of "Duke" (i mean, I still own the same ductaped version of "fear and loathing" that I read as a teen - which for obvious reasons was the manual of bad behavior set for peers in Grades K-College), but I won't... Perhaps to say that he was probably the last to have some bit of smoking outrage at politics and power and carry it through his life (his comments on Nixon's death were unsympathetic and blunt). Btw - this is Kenneth Tynan smoking. Not Duke.

I don't know why I chose to run with this photo -other than the fact he's well lit (from a lighting perspective).

The Forbidden Zone

The Forbidden Zone

Finally - one of my fave midnight movies from my youth (and there were a lot of them) is out on DVD. The Forbidden Zone was an epic underground film that had combined b-movie camp, Max Fleischer surrealism, Cab Calloway and deranged Jazz Era excess, and LA New Wave comic-book design aesthetics that would later give rise to Oingo Boingo and other Swing/Ska revivalists (Cab Calloway is a force unto himself truth betold). In any case - I have the DVD now, so I'm going to have a late night showing at my place sometime soon if anyone cares to RSVP.

(*And yes, for those interested, that's Tatoo above...)

The Day They Say Stuff But Don't Really Mean it

The Day They Say Stuff But Don't Really Mean it

You're getting a Valentine's whether you like or not...

So - I had this huge anti-valentine's day rant on Monday when my freekin Earthlink goes tits up and I lose all of my post. It was really eloquent and not too pessimistic either (which - seeing 80% of my friends decoupling or angstfully single is sayin alot). But alas - no post, so no valentine's from yours truly... Unless you want to print these out and sign my name to them...

There's a kind of hush

There's a kind of hush

This Sunday's NYT magazine had a pull out ad for "emergency terror contact plans" for families to fill out and plan in the event of a terrorist attack, grimly enough. Sentiment straight out of 50's w/it's civil defence manuals and bomb shelters, but It was enough to wonder if we were truly headed for another and what next would happen. Of course, I don't mean to be grim - It's the scene in every cold war paranoid film where swing music plays, I'm doing dishes in domestic bliss and I read about something ominous or terrible that could happen that has me wondering if I dismiss this and walk away, will the unthinkable happen and I'm left without a "safety plan" amid a terrible future... or will giving into paranoia only make it worse? I must not think bad thoughts.

People and Software

People like Software

I had to run an errand during lunchtime (Ok, dumb error - I accidentally forgot to return the Flexcar gascard I was using yesterday) and found myself downtown amid the sea of business people I wasn't used to seeing normally. Something amazing was that I found everyone predictable - having conversations about last night's SuperBowl ads, and how much their speech became like "predictable text" (you know, like the predictable text on your cellphone). For some reason, I wasn't suprised that 2 office workers found the offerings trite and the cgi graffix for a unicorn selling 6 figure airtime boring. People actually complained to the FCC that the 1/2 time show was too boring, which I can't tell you how happy that makes me (but the demographic data is still depressing nonetheless)...

Speaking of the trite subject of "Sports and Natural Selection", here's one fan that's probably realizing that self-castration is no wardrobe malfunction.

Dance While The World Burns

Dance While The World Burns.
Ugh - they say that "Rehab" might be on it's last legs at Rebar, which is unfortunate because it's the only DJ night that usually I go to anymore. It doesn't draw a huge crowd and there's been nights where it's just been a few of us shaking our drunken fannies to Joy Division or Pere Ubu. But dammit - it's ours and the only remaining legacy of Foxes that's weekly (excluding when Pho Bang comes out)... I'm hating DJ music more and more around town anymore (Comeback, et al) partially because the ironic reference frame keeps getting too literal and enveloping (now it's dirty rap and early 90's hip-hop that's cutting edge for some reason and a tiny bit o' rawk to make it "edgy"... No more dancing to shoegazer music -- we're beyond that, no one wants to relive the punck Rouke Classiques vol 38, and John Peel is indeed dead thanks to you and your post-electroclash fop's that have overrun Pike St w/your need for 21st century validation.

Oh well - what makes me happy is that "Strangers W/Candy" opened up in Sundance and the talented Amy Sedaris will be Gladys Kravitz in this year's Bewitched remake...

HOBO CAMP???

And while the rhetoric and half-baked schemes drone on, I recall a quote from English poet Edward Young: Tomorrow is the day when idlers work, and fools reform. Speaking of which - this fool has to get the led out in getting my Chinese NY's party together. I keep meaning to get better decorations as I wanted to make it a special... I keep toying with the idea of blowing an image like this up and putting it on my wall a'la temporary pop art...



Although - on top of getting everything else ready, I doubt I'll do that. Still - it would be kinda cool...

Roboperadivafuturista

In the "about $%*&ing time" award goes to the new doco on Klaus Nomi. Nomi Song opened in New York recently and features interviews and rare footage on the legendary sci-fi opera-droid. Of course people are now hip to the appeal - man turns self into art, gender is fluid and talent is everything. I think I was listening to one of those compilations compiled by celebs (in this case Morrissey) and he included his "Death", which refrains this last passage:
Remember meeeeee
Remember meeeeee
A ghostly, sad telling of AID's and how it consumed most of the downtown art scene and Nomi himself. They just don't make my robot dragstars like that anymore....

Things You Can Do on Sunless Days

The world was covered in an erasing fog again. I had forgotten about it and rounded a corner only to look out a window into a pure white fog that rolled in. Walking to work this morning - the cars formed patterns like a Joseph Stella painting - while the full moon hung over the city, looking ominous and cartoon like. More days like this, please... When I lived in Ashland, the gothic little arts town would be covered in a fog in the early mornings. It would roll through Lithia park and victorian houses - looking quite dramatic and made me forgive that it was unbearably hot often in the summer.

That reminds me - I should really find out what my good friend and former roomie Holly Kaiser is up to these days. (If you happen to be reading at all Hols, Call me!)

If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next

If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next

It's been a trying week of overall ick. On the national front, the inaugaration to smack down the other half of the country with a flex of stalinist muscle and security to boot; on a private front, close friends separating after years of marriage. Ugh. My heart is breaking (more on the latter than the former, [although with Bush it's more of heartburn and 4 year acid reflux]) and I am only hoping the best for them at this point. Nuff said.
Back to the national...
Protesting an event like this seems counterproductive. There will be more fuel for the fire to come I'm sure and it's easier to get people behind outrage at either new or current non-ending wars... (and plus, non-events like this gives the other side yet another a photo op to tag the "freaks n hippies" dragging out the signs and scary oversize puppets.)

I got the below photos from this website here. Of course I'm laughing my ass off at both for different reasons... the Brad n Jen one is wonderfully irreverant and reminds me of a friend back in the first gulf war who's slogan was "Make cake not bombs"....

Whereas this left-baiting crank is almost Joycean in his description of a liberal's day. I almost see this as his own confession of how he lives from day to day... (Some of this is actually how I live day to day, give or take the employment part).

In other news - Norwegians (including my Scandinavian relatives) fear that Bush is into Death Metal and is giving the high sign to satan.

Art and Costco on Special

Art and CostcoCostco did something rich and strange on their website. They apparently decided to go high-end and sell an original Picasso for $40k. Of course - it's not Guernica or anything, but it does bring into question the whole sacritidy of art when not being sold through Sotheby's or some other contextually accepted market. Of course this is "Art" with a capitol A, and has a the brand name of big brand names on it... Not that we could have a time where a Costco would have aisle for selling conceptual peices by Jeff Koons, or maybe even dilute the whole commercial/pop-culture distinction and commision figurines by Superflat artists like Nara...

Death as an unkind way of saying "Change"

Death as an unkind way of saying "Change"

Out of desperation, I've reinstalled earthlink 56k dialup for a month while I try to get broadband... The pages load incredibly slow, and I'm afraid there will be no pretty pictures to look at as the load time on the server will probably take all night.
I saw a few movies over the weekend that I'm a month behind seeing ("A Long Engagement" and "Closer")... Per the latter, it was a subconsciously violent movie (where as the former was a subconscious love story amid a violent wartime movie)... Something occured to me today as I was walking to work was how interchangeable London and New York were. Given that both the female and male leads were probably adapted from the british stage and that Mike Nicholls probably added a cross-atlantic flair to it (I'm just guessing - I haven't really seen the play that it's based on, just making assumptions)... But it got me thinking about the similarities - per some similar rants on some blogs I've read - how materialistic both cities have gotten (loss of that fabled struggling creative spirit that everyone moved there for in return for high-end chain stores and status items)... I then started on the warpath - how did we get to be so materialistic? Why are people willing to forgoe a housing payment for designer denim (which invariably looks like shit no matter how you try to wear it)... Why do we think that our notoriety will be seen in our iPods? I then realized the source of all our anguish - Marketers and the fact they let GenerationY dictate what was "street", which is stuff you could not afford in the ghetto or suburbs, but dreamt about regardless. Labels became again the new gods, and Hip Hop moguls could design BMW's and sell the twentyset, but GenX was a lost cause because of our abundance of irony and trying to keep up with it all. I shouldn't go after GenY, however... As much as I'd like to see them as doey-eyed pawns of a bigger game, we're as much to blame for pushing the "New Sincerity" agenda of indie-rawwwch. Ok - this is complete shit and I hate articles like this. I really do... Slow on the take and years behind schedule, the NYT gives us this tripe on Conor Oberst, 24yroldwunderkind with a shaky voice and soft melodies that we've not heard before (uhh, Galaxy500, any twee band from the mid90's). I guess I hate the fact that it's plugged on bling-concsious shows like the OC and One Tree Hill where they use it to bridge poorly written dialogue spoken by teenagers portrayed by people in their 20's. I also hate that a long standing tradition of Keep-it-Simple-Stupid has been touted as the new strategy to sell (and sell out). No wonder the indie kids are running to intentionally bad hip-hop parodies (Har Mar Superstar, etc) and baroque karakoe buttroque... I guess it's all labels baby. Oh - I show my age, bitter and old, clutching at my out of print vinyl and staring out to sea...
Speaking of - I started to think of death as I walked home in the rain (to change the tone/subject). I was feeling the ghosts move around the city... Change, Transformation... Histories as small as microrevolutions that won't be seen for centuries until someone finds a document somewhere. Death is a harsher way of saying change... Change is a kinder way of saying Death. Regimes come in and out of power... Yet things stay in the picture, Ghosts hide behind buildings and won't let you look away. I think that I should go easy on my contempt for changes, it's invariable and inevitable and leaves me no contemporaries. Plus I'm as much a slave to ridiculous vehicles (as a friend once put it) as the next kid (of any age), so bring on silly details that make us feel woefully inadequate and unwilling to sit still.

Blink, Blink

Titan Springs

Everyone's inner 5-grade astronomy-geek hit a collective glee note when we heard that the Cassini-Huygens Space probe had landed and had indeed noticed some water on the landscape. It is good to know that the solar system isn't an entirely dry county, but still - the glamour shot from space came back looking a bit like Nebraska at this time of year:

Ok, it's admittedly blurry and in black and white, but we did want some kind of impressive drama from a planet that's supposed to describe the origins of life... I mean, Titan doesn't have to get all "2001" on our ass and make a huge production, but it could try to live up to it's artist renderings:

Now that's what I'm talking about. We want the kind of Saturnset you can only get while watching big-budgeted sci-fi films... We want alien shores with a Thomas Kincaid sumptuousness to them... We want a potential vacation hotspot called "Titan Springs" where the rich can shuttle to when the Hamptons finally become unbearable...

Jeepster

Speaking of the unbearable, at the Detroit Auto Show today, we witness yet another marriage of technology and homicidal paranoia in The Ford SYN Concept SUV, complete with bulletproof casing and a video camera for the back window:

Of course it's concept (which means pie-in-the-sky "because-we-can" designer smugness), but if these babies get in vogue with the avid automobile warrior, we could have a self-fufilling Mad-Max kind of prophesy (everyone on the road as your enemy, trust has become limited and thus public transportation is outlawed, people warring for gas = hmmm, I think we're already here).

Film Club

Spent last night at Rehab (no not that rehab... I mean this rehab)... I snuck in during the last 5 minutes of their drunken puppets show (which was finishing), and caught the "house band" for said puppets - a really entertaining 3 peice jug band. Wish I could remember what their names were... In any case - a few minutes prior, I was in an unnamed bookstore and had spied a copy of this month's McSweeny's offshoot journal "The Believer" - which focused on visual art's, artists, etc... and comes with a free DVD with short films... I was hella impressed with this effort as interactive media really hasn't become all that it was cracked up to be -- yet they made it work by having a few shorts by Guy Maddin and Mike Mills.

In any case - had a sudden burst of inspiration while I was talking to Kelly and Allen about it that it would be really cool to have a film club that focuses on films as quick and easy documents. Something that's like a film, but is not trapped in the confines of "film", but more immediate and fun... Something creative where you pick a topic, everyone would go and shoot a subject and then edit and preview it the following week. Kind of like any film club - but the idea is that it's focused on the "immediate" and not the technology and process.... Am I making sense? I have been in film theory mode lately -- perhaps it's the recent death of Susan Sontag that is bringing out my more visceral side, but I'm also about wanting to have fun and be creative with the equipment i have...

Who knows - maybe this is finally reason to get a dvd-burner for my mac?

Future Regained

Whole Lotta stuff over the past 24 hours...

Future Regained

I spent last night at an undisclosed location with fabulous un-named people watching the (soon-to-be released, shhhh!) 2046, and on their tricked out projection screen to boot! It was, as is all his work, a beautiful meditation on human relationships that predictably fall apart... I think his forte is not telling love stories, but rather the "in-between" times when you're questioning everything. His characters strike me as limited and not having to live in "time" itself, but rather hanging in a suspended animation (or slow, luxurious pan across a reflective surface) of sadness and memory. This particular film was just that. The futuristic plot seemed to take a backseat to the drama in 1960's (and thus continuing his stories w/characters such as Tony)... I would have liked to have seen more, but in a way - the simplicity and artistry of what he does well (2 people falling out of love) plays out better in a more simple setting (HK of the past vs the future). The rest becomes an array of arresting images. Check out the website here.

Pancake Mountain

Another crazy thing I discovered today was this site for a children's show called "Pancake Mountain" which has a roster of indie musicians in support of it. I watched one of the segments with "Fiery Furnaces" (Do the Moose) and it completely makes sense -- these enthusiastic youthful bands with creativity and enough zaniness for the wee-set, yet some how can keep it low-fi and cool for older kids of all ages (like me)...

Also - check out (under clips) the short films, like "M is for Mom". Original, arty and almost something you would see in the Whitney (projected on a wall no less)... I'm impressed - I wished they had something designed this way for adults (which in a way, this is designed for both Punk rock parents and the offspring of), but alas - we're too jaded... Still, the proof will be in how the primary audience (the kids) take to it...

Snowed in

Yesterday, I awoke to snow covering the top of Beacon hill. It was one of those rare moments where I realize that I really do love my place - the apartment quiet, a blanket of stillness keeping out the chaos and gridlock of the freeways and people angry with commerce and the Seahawks game. I curled up and read the sunday times... wishing it would not end, that maybe the world would be coming to a temporary halt (again) and that we would be immobile... Alas, it was all gone by noon.

Evidence and Narrative

Evidence and Narritive

If something happens to you, how do you put into a convenient 3 paragraph description of what went down? I read what I write and see it flailing on a page - I want to go back and correct my sentence structure in my first post of the year and remove the runons (where-as I fragement like drunk driver, barely missing a sentence to link the other sentence together neatly). I've never been into details... Me be a writer... (insert audible disdain here from the million or so writers).
An article in NYT about the banning of photographs in subways. I used to Fotoblog quite a bit and there was one controversial fotoblogger took all sorts of incredulous shots on the subway. People would leave their protests in the comments section - the artist defending themselves by saying "they do not see what's so bad"... I hate to say it - but I get some of my best shots with random crowds sometimes... There's such an intrusion in doing that however...

While a painting or a prose description can never be other than a
narrowly selective interpretation, a photograph can be treated as a narrowly
selective transparency. But despite the presumption of veracity that gives all
photographs authority, interest, seductiveness, the work that photographers do
is no generic exception to the usually shady commerce between art and truth.
Even when photographers are most concerned with mirroring reality, they are
still haunted by tacit imperatives of taste and conscience. The immensely gifted
members of the Farm Security Administration photographic project of the late
1930s (among them Walker Evans, Dorothea Lange, Ben Shahn, Russell Lee) would
take dozens of frontal pictures of one of their sharecropper subjects until
satisfied that they had gotten just the right look on film -- the precise
expression on the subject's face that supported their own notions about poverty,
light, dignity, texture, exploitation, and geometry. In deciding how a picture
should look, in preferring one exposure to another, photographers are always
imposing standards on their subjects. Although there is a sense in which the
camera does indeed capture reality, not just interpret it, photographs are as
much an interpretation of the world as paintings and drawings are. Those
occasions when the taking of photographs is relatively undiscriminating,
promiscuous, or self-effacing do not lessen the didacticism of the whole
enterprise. This very passivity -- and ubiquity -- of the photographic record is
photography's "message," its aggression.

So sayeth Susan Sontag. Yes, there is whole lotta violence in that fstop because you are the person who is imposing the idea on us. Ever notice when you take pictures how people wince just prior to the flash going off?

Speaking of the recent death of Susan Sontag, my thoughts turn to camp, the language of my people. I've been watching alot of KITH from netflix and loving every minute of it... It's no longer knee-slapping funny, I find. But it is still highly literate and innovative to watch. Comedy-as-tragedy-turned-on-it's-thong-wearing-keister. Maybe taking pictures of people unknowingly will become renegade and thus comic? I don't know why I felt the need to push this into the path of Sontag's "On Photography"... Perhaps it's because I'm looking for a strange new comic vehicle...

Pop Obsessives Paid Weekly!

The promise of the new... After the new year, potentials and possibilities seem endless for some weird reason. After seeing a writing course offered in Salon, I went directly to their source (Mediabistro.com) and saw that they had offered a beginning online course for writing for Magazines beginning tomorrow. It’s strange – but I’ve always courted the idea of going back into the news business (even though I was always at the technical edges while working in T.V. and not technically “in” journalism, but I did technically graduate from the J-school at UO). Alas – a short lived dream however. The class was full and also expensive (plus, I’ve been hearing some horror stories of distance-learning where the feedback channels were less than optimal…), so I decided to forgo that, but I might look into a future course (in real-time somewhere) and/or just find some small-time gigs that would take submissions. Why the sudden interest in writing? The world is already full of would-be authors and bloggers and people who maintain their presence as a mini-“news authority”. Friends who are in the biz caution against it and those who do it usually give up after a while. I don’t know – I think it came about while I was distracted the other day chasing down facts on an obscure 1970’s musician named John Howard. I somehow stumbled across him on Amazon and a whole other universe opened up. I wanted to know more – but being that I should be working, I had to put my search aside. I’m always obsessed with minutia – 15minutes of fame, trivia and/or footnotes in history that actually have a larger ripple than we might realize. moment). My pop obsessions outweigh other tragedies and terrible histories, so I figure it has to be good for something.
In any case – I ended up purchasing the John Howard CD, and will look for stimulus perhaps through Seattle central, or a small group. In the meantime - I'm cultivating my obsessions with sad-eyed singer-songwriters from 40-30 years ago with continental flair and style, who were courted as the potentially next big thing and then didn't quite make it...



And also my other fave I saw today was Terry Reid, the man-who-would-be-Robert Plant. Dig the mod hair and bedroom eyes...

Checking Out 2005

I'm writing what is an eternity - a good year and a half. Readership is probably zero at this point and I'm barely managing any blips in cyberspace, but i've no other journal at the moment and my life has been a series of unfinished notebooks (pages at the end that go to nowhere). Besides, this blog has seen me through 2 NY's resolutions and minor transitions.
What makes this year so different?
A few things... Everything.
I started the New Year with one of those near-death experiences that define you by defining a moment that's pretty hard to erase when the moment itself is the very act of being erased in front of you. If I can reclarify -- it was an ambulance, and my head on the pavement oozing blood, while I checked out. Checked out meaning -- a feeling of going... Time slowed down immensely and what I could only feel were still shots of my being as if filmed by Michel Gondry, or perhaps it felt more like stop motion animation - time was fractured and moving in frames into blackness. Rattling and descriptions of what had happened "He drank too much... He was drinking too much... He Fell... He hit his head on the pavement..." Moist and wet blood, Ice... A trickle. Panic. Blackness - Is this it? Am I dying? I hear the sounds of EMT's giving up, turning offi monitors... Am I going "out" of existence -- and {moment of existential dread} is this what really happens? What follows is a replay - 12:40am, I had stumbled out of the party to catch a cab, but being completely inhibriated I fell into a wall and cracked my skull open, lost some blood. Friends called 911, had me blanketed, iced and elevated. Within minutes, and after some much needed vomiting, Joe and the EMT's carted me off in the meatwagon to Swedish where I was undressed, had tubes shoved into every orifice and my bodily fluids drained and replaced with fluids that were a bit more, well, helpful. This is where I regained consciousness and saw Joe waiting (I don't think I've ever been more thankful of anyone than to see him)... Time caught up to me, brought me into the moment. I was in a hospital gown, had tubes going in and out of every orifice. I was too tired to be ashamed of how this escalated and was focused on survival at that point (and the fact that I was vomiting out more fluid)... They patched me up with a staple in my noggin, and had me walking to make sure my blood pressure would raise, my most graceful moments again - me walking down the halls of Swedish, a medic holding the back of my gown closed and I'm weaving and bobbing. By 5:30am, I'm announced alive and at risk of concussion.
I'm not ashamed of this happening - it brought some good forces back in my life (namely Joe [who is my guardian angel at this point] and the will to live and not do stupid things like this again). It also clarified my resolutions at this point:

1. Be a better person
2. Quit "out" drinking everyone.

I'm not a candidate for AA, but I binge drink like a foolish coed, especially at milestone occassions (birthday's, holidays, bad elected officials taking office). I'm not sure why I still do this at age 35, but I'm usually 1-2 jiggers up on most of my peers and I get "crunked" as a means of what I probably think as a means of malcontent bohemian revelry adopted in late teens/early 20's (I remember polishing off a 5th of voddy with 2 housemates in an evening in order to instigate the insane things we tried to goad each other into doing while sober). I think the infectious self-destructiveness was fine as long as there was little or no actual destruction occuring. But it's recently occured to me the dumb choices that I'm not immune to -- even death -- are carried in shot-glassess placed on checkerboard. I somehow make it a mission to get messed up, and then magically maintain. This has to stop... I'm older fer chrissakes... People look at old trolls vomitting in the corners of dive bars with pity and disgust, and I'm not wanting either at this point.

I think somewhere in the pain and flurry, I heard an EMT say (or shout) "Your gonna be fine"... Oh.... I gotta be good.